The Train 105th Day 04-15

by Administrator 15. April 2011 01:05

I feel like a passenger traveling on the train…and looking through the window; the particular view appears and then goes away quickly….just like the hours, days, events and people in our life…

 I am seemingly unchanged…being on the same train , same trip…just experiencing change of scenery…until the moment of realization comes and I notice the  number of miles passed, since beginning of the trip…or years, from the time when I was born…

 My grandmother on my mother side was a very active and easy going woman. She was in her seventies when she would take a tram ride to the city for a little bit of shopping …and she just couldn’t wait until the street car would come to the full stop...Impatiently she would jump off…while it was still moving slowly… Witnessing this behavior as a small girl, I was simply puzzled by her energy and zest for life…not mentioning...”mischievous way of traveling”…I suppose, on one of those days we had a talk about her age and how it affected her… I was simply trying to understand …how you feel, having so many years in your personal calendar. My grandmother’s name was Julia…She looked at me, gazing straight into my eyes and exclaimed with passion “ I feel the same…as I’ve  always been…maybe thirty years old…not a day older”. She was absolutely right…my Mom feels exactly the same way…looking surprised at the growing number of her  birthday candles …and wondering “ when did they come from?”

And now it’s me…still dreaming and making plans like a teenage girl…feeling strong and full of energy as in my twenties… occasionally catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and wondering “Is this me?”  I guess, I am following my” family tradition”…of not acting “our own age”, being rebellious about fitting into the form of appropriate and approved  behavior according to the norm of the society, and not wasting single day on regrets and complains…I truly believe it’s never too late to start some projects you’ve  always dreamed about, pursue  your passions, learn , play , be happy and in  love…with life…and anything or anyone your heart wants to take a chance …

We can’t stop the time …days will pass, seasons will change, kids will grow and we will get older…the world around us will change …even, if we strongly feel the stillness of the moment and our inner self deep within… We are not powerless …on the contrary; it’s our choice, how we are going to fill the days…and years… It just doesn’t make any sense to me …stopping too early…not doing much and…resigning to wait…for what …?

I admire people who never stop learning…it doesn’t have to be the official class at the University ( but could be)…might be just learning new skills or language, people who get up every day with a big smile on their face …just because life granted them another chance to be here, make a change… to experience. They could find many reasons to complain …instead they find couple to be happy about. They give light, positivity and warm feelings to those around them… they are pleasure and fun to be around…no matter what age they are…

As a society we are pretty much preoccupied with our age …and a fear of getting older…even more so...looking older. Its inescapable truth...has to accept it. Now as far as looks go…I think my “golden rule” which I used in talks with my teenage daughter applies here as well… “Looks are like the icing on the cake…its good when you have it…but it’s not the cake…as long as you know that truth, decoration will not become more important than a real substance… in this case, I have no problem with icing”

The idea of aging beauty changes too…I certainly hope our visual preferences will evolved beyond fake and plastic…favoring natural, fresh look…not ready for sale but full of dignity…and respect for years passed.  It affects us...women more than men…we should be able to have something to say about how we want to be seen…From the early teenage years to well beyond maturity…We are not the Barbie…and few of us want to be just that…I suppose …majority need to feel accepted and loved…sadly, by trying to fit… into the narrow vision of this shallow beauty. I am the optimist …so much changed for women in the last century …we will keep on redefining ourselves …showing more and more of our “real substance” not concentrating so much on the “icing”.  

I believe the way in which society evolves, is reflected in the way we perceive and treat elderly generation. The fear of wrinkles, aging, in other words impermanence of our being needs to be replaced with respect, gratitude and will to learn from experienced and mature part of our society…There is something vain and wrong with system which doesn’t appreciate those lessons.

 I do hope my train ride will continue for a while…I am planning to fill it with an exciting and amazing experiences…because when it comes to a stop …don’t want to regret…want to look back and exclaim “What a ride!!!”




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The Little Prince

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for..."

"They don't find it," I answered.

"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

"Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."








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