Friendship 33rd Day 02-02

by Administrator 2. February 2011 03:51

"Promise me you'll always remember: You are braver than you believe, and stronger then you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh"

Friendships were always very important to me…finding someone who understands and see “better”, more beautiful, stronger, smarter you… is such an uplifting feeling. Friend, who thinks you are special, important and lovable just the way you are, is the best gift from life. The one who believes in you, even at the times, when you doubt yourself, the one who stands by you, when you think, the world turned its back, the one who is next to you, in the stillness of a difficult moment.

 Friends have this special vision….they see, feel and hear with their hearts. They sense the best in you and make you want to be your best. Don’t want to change you or shape you into acceptable “mold”, they think you are just perfect… even with an array of quirky personality traits or strange habits. How can we ever imagine getting through life without them?

One of my best friends from childhood years is permanently living, on different continent, for last twenty five or more years. We don’t visit that much or stay in very close contact …but what always amazes me, is the fact that even short e-mail or talk can bring back the connection.

 It feels to me, as if we just saw each other yesterday…without perception of the time passed. We grew up together, sharing the dreams , thoughts and time. She was more than a good friend…rather sister I’ve never had. It was my first life lesson in friendship…very good one. I found out, there was no need to judge …just to make an effort to see her life from her perspective. Also, not necessary to push your own points of view, instead share it, through your eyes. Yes, we had misunderstandings… not many…and at least, one actual …fight…”fist fight”…I was a bit of a tomboy…but once it was over…nothing lingered on …we just “cleared the air”. I miss her and wish, we could be closer now ...but I still “watch” her life…it’s never indifferent to me.

This first friendship made me realize, there is one very simple factor, which not only holds but also acts as a magnet in people’s friendships. It’s an emotional connection…once it’s made, it is oblivious to time and space…as if invisible strings were attached.

It was no surprise; I was looking for friendship in my romantic relationship. I figured out, in the worst case scenario, when nothing else works we can still be friends. I believe, the marriage without friendship is a very difficult and challenging adventure. They were many times in my life, that” friend perspective “ helped to be more tolerant, giving, understanding and loving. As a friend you are willing to “walk in someone else’s shoes”…as a partner …they are other dynamics, as well and not always favorable for mutual understanding. Friends first…that’s where “selfless” love grows …

Could similarity in the way you think or feel help the friendship or not?

 After all, I truly believe emotional connection is the key to opening your world and heart to other human being and becoming friends. Looking back at my life, I had friends who were a lot like me…or quite different…I am not referring to casual friendships, rather to deep bond which lasts for a long time.  What surprised me was the fact, I could have very close friend, who was opposite in a lot of ways.

My friend, who shared with me a lots of laughs and tears as well, for past twelve years couldn’t be more different then me… Yet, we are friends…

 The word different is too broad… the question remains… how different…? I use to have this “theory” about people and their unique personalities… I would distinguish between “inner core”, which would include “big” attitudes in life to… ex. love, loyalty, truth, goals in life, honesty, trust….and the “outer layer” consisting of “smaller stuff”…introvert or extravert, activity, likes and dislikes, habits…

If the “inner cores” were similar or the same, chances for success in friendship or romantic relationship were high, on the other hand the disagreement in basic approach to life aka “inner core” was not a good way to start anything, design for long term. So, seemingly different people on outside (what I called outer layer)…could become great friends or partners…as long, as the important issues of “inner core” agrees.

Even with so much analyzing and “recipe” for success, some of the friendships still surprise us… Actually, I love the idea of unpredictability factor….it makes me believe in magic of that difficult to explain connection between people. I like to think, maybe there is something else that makes us like that person or fall in love with someone. We can analyze it as much as we want to but in the end its all in the details….and small moments when your soul feels at home, comfortable, easy, relax and happy with that particular person. Seeing a twinkle in their eyes when they look at you or concern in their voice, covered by casual conversation…let you know they really do care about you. You are not merely the statistic…but you hold an important meaning for them and they are, as well entwined in your life. To have a friend on this journey, someone who understands and cares is simply priceless.

 Being able to open your own heart to let someone in is even more...

“Each friend represents a world in us, possibly not born until they arrive, and it is by this meeting that a new world is born” – Anais Nin



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The Little Prince

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for..."

"They don't find it," I answered.

"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

"Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."








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