Music Box 53rd Day 02-22

by Administrator 22. February 2011 02:54

The delicate sound of the chimes was humming to the movement of the wind. The window was lightly open allowing in, some fresh air despite the heavy humidity. She was looking through it, staring at a single tree in the backyard. Its branches were moving lightly in the smooth motion, reminding her of a gentle lullaby.

 She couldn’t sleep anymore…didn’t see a need for it, the awaken state felt like a never ending dream …. The big pile of old pictures was scattered on the floor, all around her. She was holding one in her hand, looking at the face, she thought, she knew so well. He was smiling, showing big gap between his front teeth.  She used to make fun of him, teasing slightly, just to tell him later, it was his sexiest feature. Did she ever know that man…? Was it all just a cruel game? Has he been happy or only pretending, all those years?

She was searching for the answers in small clues ….analyzing his body language, looking for unnoticed details, transfixed on his eyes in desperate attempt to make sense of her life and their history. They have been married for over seven years and maybe they were not a perfect couple but she thought they loved and cared for each other very much. She was very busy with her work in the last two years, but always made sure they were able to spend some time on the weekends. She was a teacher at the local High School and on some evenings she brought her work home, grading papers or looking over her notes. He never seemed angry or inpatient about that, but kept himself busy with few hobbies and couple of a close friends.

 They didn’t have children…they try, and then try some more…but it never happened. Simply, they stopped talking about it, as if there was no issue. She came from the family of five, two younger sisters and two brothers. Anna was the oldest one and many times took on the role of a mother…taking care of them, cooking and playing. She didn’t mind, liked to feel needed and able to fulfill her responsibilities…

The singing melody of the chimes outside the window, reminded her of the music box given to her as a Christmas present by one of her students, named Faith. She was such a lovely and talented girl …always paying attention, shy and reserved but very sensitive. Anna helped her to find the after school program for young adults, faced with an emotional scars, where the art and creativity worked as a therapy.   …Anna vividly remembered that Christmas, and how proudly she winded her present and let the melody of Chopin fill the room and then, placed it on the mantel, above the fire place… Mark was looking at her with his eyes lightly closed and a faint smile on his face… which she took for an approval…now she wasn’t sure of anything anymore… She was questioning everything about their life together…feeling as that was another person in all of her memories and pictures.

 Mark was liked by his coworkers and his temper was very even, never raising his voice or acting upset… He had a group of friends, that they went out together to bowl or to play some cards. Nothing wild or unusual just a meat and potatoes guy, following closely his routine, happy and easy going.

Anna heard crumbling noise and as she followed the source of it, she saw her fist tightly closed on the folded picture, crushed and wrinkled.  It was sticking through her locked fingers exposing sharp outline of the knuckles. Parts of her wanted to destroy everything, turn back the clock and forget, that it ever existed but she knew it was not possible…the life will have to go on; she will have to find her answers and understanding.

 Her right foot begin to hurt; she didn’t know how long she has been in that position. Forced herself to get up and decided to grab something to drink. Her tongue felt rough and dry to the touch and she remembered.... It meant, she must be thirsty…  Anna started walking slowly toward the kitchen, catching a glimpse of her face in the mirror.  Paused for a moment, trying to remember who it was …so vaguely familiar… She was a pretty 35 year old with naturally strawberry blond hair; almond shape, clear blue eyes and fair amount of freckles... Her body was slim, tall and built proportionately.

Her face showed the signs of great sadness with dark circles under her eyes, the sunken look of the skin and permanent wrinkles on her forehead.  Anna looked away in a slow motion, dismissing any thought of concern about her looks and continued moving toward the kitchen. The clock in the hall began striking, marking the hours of the night. She counted in her head…”one ,two, three, four, five…” …”it must be five o’clock” , she sighted …some people are getting up for work, getting ready , starting their new day…time had no meaning for her anymore… in a world of pain it was only indifferent passage of hours and days.

Water was cold and she was drinking it fast, taking big gulps … her body awakening and asking for more…The house was empty, except for the boxes, stack on top of each other and ready for the movers. Her younger sister arranged everything…the moving company will come and pick up all of the boxes …and she will turn the key of the front doors for a very last time… Her baby sister will be here, early in the morning to take her to her house …a thousand miles away …to start the new chapter and to leave everything behind ….

Anna would never agree to it few months ago, she was the one who was always strong and very independent. Today was different, she felt grateful to have someone take care of her and make all decisions…

Mark managed to do something…no one ever did in her life…to take away her trust, faith, and spirit full of hope and love… She doubted, if she ever will be able to feel again…She could never forget his casual tone of voice and precise use of words, which pierced her heart and left her in the shock. She looked at him as if expecting to hear laughter and an apology for stupid joke…but he said it again with a cold logic…” I don’t love you anymore, I never loved you…and I am moving away with someone else, to start my new life…”

Anna replayed it in her mind, probably a thousand times…not being able to comprehend and accept. She knew, it was over…but she didn’t know why and what was over…the life as she knew it ...never existed, except in her mind… How can she trust anybody else again…The lies poisoned her soul and closed her heart…She wanted to be left alone…

Just then her eyes scanned the fire place area and she noticed one more, small object left behind. As she moved closer, she realized it was her favorite music box…now she remembered leaving it here to pack it separately, so it won’t be damaged. Anna picked it up and looked at the intricate work. It was a music box shaped as a beautifully curved and detailed piano…the single sound of the waltz came to life…and stopped. Anna wanted to hear more…music made her forget about the troubles and help travel to a different, better world…She turned it upside down and started winding …looking at the bottom and realizing there is something written…she never noticed before. It said: To my favorite and best teacher” To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you may be the world” Love, Faith”

Chopin music started to play giving away tenderness and sweetness of emotions…Anna touched her cheeks feeling something wet…the tears were pouring out of her, washing away sadness, doubts, unhappiness and filling her with the sense of understanding in new beginnings, acceptance of unforeseen turns in life, the unshakable power of love and need for hope and trust….She could feel her soul , breaking free and opening her heart to the life again ….the music continued playing , filling the room with the light , she didn’t see before……

 

 

 

 

 

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The Little Prince

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for..."

"They don't find it," I answered.

"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

"Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."

 

 

 

 

 

 

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