Heart Of The Matter 35th Day 02-04

by Administrator 4. February 2011 03:51


As much as I want to believe and to see the “Hollywood” ending to all of the life stories…  I do understand, it’s simply impossible. Though, the “little optimist” inside of me, is always searching for the deeper meaning and lessons to be learned. The faith in the “big picture” and karma gives me the strength to believe, everything happens for the reason…. yet, many times it seems, as we are the actors in the “rough cut” movie…

“In filmmaking, the rough cut is the second of three stages of offline editing. The rough cut is the first step stage in which the film begins to resemble its final product. Rough cuts do not flow well and still undergo many changes before the release of the film.”  By Wikipedia

There were times in my life, that I’ve wanted to have the “universal remote control” and fast forward it, to the better days….when all the questions would have been answered, painful moments would begin to heal and the understanding of the lesson, would start to take a shape. Unfortunately, “the work” has to be done…before we reach the new place in our life.  I’ve experienced watching someone, who was never able to arrive at point C  from point A …because …they didn’t want to or couldn’t  make a decision to take a step toward point B.....

 It’s a b….. step or one may call it rough cut…no denying …but we have to take it, unless we enjoy running in circles forever…and ever. Didn’t you hear it before? Unless you learn this lesson in life …you will be presented with numerous “opportunities “to do it again and again. We complain by saying…“I don’t know why is this happening to me,  always...the same problems…   ?” It’s not that strange…. my guess would be, absence of point B and of course not reaching point C…we can call it change. Change in you, so you will not “attract” the same life lessons and you can continue your journey…growing.

Many times our learning is nothing more but the sense of closing and releasing. Letting go of the anger and resentment, maybe even revenge…You certainly don’t want to live with that kind of emotions. They will destroy you, sooner or later and will not allow lesson to be learned, closing to take a place and your heart to open up again.

  If you want to, you can imagine the door in front of you that you have to open in order to start the new chapter in your life. Once you gather your strength and courage to say good bye to all of the experiences, memories, emotions and people… no longer needed or welcomed …you will give a permission to let go… release.

 Put your hand on the handle and push it to open ….take a step inside, telling yourself it’s the new beginning, the rest is history…in the past.  New beginnings are growing out of the old endings…when we will give it a chance. Many times we need to understand the lesson, change few things in us….maybe, just perception or our attitude. The process of “digging” deep inside of our soul could be necessary ….but that’s how we grow….it’s our B -”working” point. If we hold on desperately to old, outgrown structures, we will remain the same…running in the circles…and who wants that?  

Ultimately, we don’t want our heart to remain closed. I learned this lesson too...in a very personal matter… It was a long time ago…I was just teenager, maybe 14 years old.

 Remember vividly that Christmas… everything seems to be well in my life…or I should say, I was not upset or sad but…not too happy too…I was in my room eating walnuts or pecans…had a nutcracker in my hand….working its “magic”. Picked up one of the nuts, which looked perfect, beautiful and promising to be simply delicious. When I opened it up ….inside was anything but perfect…no one could eat that...it was dry and old looking…dead… At this moment, I started crying not knowing why, just to realize, I’ve identified with it... Looking young and “perfect” on the outside, when in reality, my heart was closed to protect myself from hurting…  My heart felt closed and dry, impenetrable to emotions.

 Kept crying for a while, remembering I didn’t shed a single tear for over a year, since I’ve decided to protect myself …from feeling “too much”.   Well, luckily I got my “beating heart” back, which was stronger to take on “life’s lessons”, but I never forgot how easy it is to close yourself. You may not even realize it fully. Yes, we can “protect” ourselves by closing our heart and not feeling sad or upset anymore…but we can’t expect to love either…I am not willing to make this sacrifice.

I don’t know about you…but I will “protect “my heart by keeping it open…As long, as I can feel and love, there is always a chance for new beginnings and lessons learned.  It may hurt sometime, but it may feel wonderful the other times…There could be disappointment and sadness but also happiness and love….That’s my story …. Don’t ever, want to look back and try to remember how caring, trust and love felt…. want to be in the middle of “rough cut”, with an action, that maybe doesn’t flow too well and is not ready for release…but at least feels real with mistakes, bloopers, second takes and all sweetness of unrehearsed moment, full of authenticity and life.




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The Little Prince

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for..."

"They don't find it," I answered.

"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

"Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."








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