Your thoughts and attitudes create perception of the world around you….
”The house of cards “ is build, according to your expectations.
Many people, many different ideas of reality, living next to each other…complementing, coexisting, tolerating or just plainly crushing. Seeing the same event and drawing opposite conclusions is after all nothing unusual or new. The richness in diversity of our world is actually very enriching and interesting.
It gets a bit more complicated, when opposing “worlds” are sharing the same space and decision has to be made affecting both. Tolerance, open mindness, cooperation, respect and understanding would be an ideal platform for the discussion….but what if it’s not…? Many times it is “not”, after all, our world is not an “ideal one”, where people always act accordingly to the highest standards and virtues .What if the worlds are colliding and the space is not only close, but very personal, filled with emotions ?
Usually we are lucky to choose our friends on the base of similar interests, ideals, likes and dislikes, to feel comfortable, happy to be understood and connected.
Occasionally, some of our relationships are the one, which fall into the “difficult” category. I want to believe, they show in our lives for the reason …maybe to make us see the other point of view, “shake us up” in our world, puzzle us, make us angry or force us to reexamine our beliefs… at the end creating a change.
Sometime they will just assure us of who we are and make us stronger advocates for our reality. One thing is for sure, relationships with other people are never just neutral…( thought some people will remain neutral to us, will stay in the “grey area" but that's not what I consider “living” relationship ).
I have read someone’s reflections, comparing people and their relationships to the baking of the cake.…We have basic ingredients such as butter, eggs, sugar, flower etc….but after we mix it , bake it and let chemical reaction to take place, we end up with something totally new... The cake is "born"...different then any parts of it.
The chemical reaction, which sparked "metamorphosis" ( I should add from my experience, also imagination )creates sweet and sometime unpredictable treat. Well, cake predictability is not 100% (unless you are the Julia Child) but still much higher then with people's relashionships..
When two people meet and interact …the “chemical reaction” happens, the new entity is born . Their relationship is living, breathing "creature".Its mutable though, after all human elements are mutable too…J
I always imagined relationship as the” sphere” containing two elements, ying and yang enticing each other together. When one changes the other must too or this will create imbalance. The sphere simply will fall apart, not able to retain its shape.
That was my visual representation of the “perfect” relationship…changing, but influencing each other in certain ways, making it possible to retain the original shape. Having very different dynamics and proportions on the inside..never less fitting together very well, because of readjustments on both parts…
In my opinion, this dynamic model was the only one, leading to successful path aka "survival of relashionship". One condition had to be met…both elements, ying and yang ,willing to embrace the change due to each other action, and in conjunction with it.
When we meet someone, in the beginning, we are more than willing to adjust, accordingly. We are very "dynamic" then...As the time passes by and we get settled in “our ways,” creatures of habits , “warriors of status quo” and our relationship matures, we don’t want to be bothered with constant “adjustments” to retain our “perfect sphere”…
No wonder, years later we look at each other puzzled at what happened… suprized the other element “morphed” into someone else and we were left behind or vice versa….Two different realities under one roof with two different “house of cards”… not an easy task.
Every meaningful relationship I encounter in my life, left a mark on me. I grew and change because of it. Also, I left part of me …there… forever… maybe that’s what we call missing someone, even when we outgrow need for that friendship or love. Part of my ying is still there and I can feel presence of the other yang here …maybe…… just lingering in my thoughts, emotions and memories….