Heart of the Matter 128th Day 05-08

by Administrator 8. May 2011 02:32

My body recognizes it before “I “do …the joyful  sensation of reuniting with an old friend …full of  surprise …how much I still  love it… and miss it without realizing… Yoga… Today was my first structured class in couple of months…I will definitely come back …maybe even tomorrow… I have been enjoying yoga practice for quite few years…occasionally, I will go through the periods of not doing it at all…busy with other projects…sick…or just ….???? …Every time I come back, is like falling in love again and promising not to give it up….

It is sort of funny, but it reminds me of this boy I knew very, very long time ago… I liked him a lot …no reason to pretend otherwise…even though, I desperately fought not to… (I was young…). I knew how much I cared for him… even few days apart were a real torture…If I didn’t see him for a little longer, it was becoming easier…as more time passed by … I was wondering… “Was it really something that special?”…Didn’t miss him  and ….he became a “nice” emotionally peaceful memory…until one day…when I saw him again…everything surfaced so fresh, as if it was yesterday…

The intensity of emotions was overwhelming, attraction unquestionable …leaving me surprised, speechless, scared, thrilled and astonished…My reaction reminded me of an alcoholic…who had no problem until ...first drink, taste…smoker…promising just one cigarette…Addiction could be powerful in any form…Is my yoga …form of a positive addiction? My body letting me know…”like it… want more of it…”?

Addiction has been defined as a physical and psychological dependence on psychoactive substances (alcohol, tobacco, drugs). Also, some psychology professionals would add the psychological “dependency” on things like: food, sex, computer, work, exercise, watching TV, shopping…and more…

Psychoactive substances are able to alter people’s consciousness and feelings…everyone will react a little differently …depending on many individual factors…( scientists argue…that it could be genetics, bio-chemical makeup of the person…etc)…one is for sure it’s a reward system taping into our emotions...

The “physical attraction” aka fixation to this one person and its psychological consequences… (Some people may call it even love)…could be viewed as a form of psychoactive substance… connecting to our feelings. Taking one step farther…there is actual term in psychology as” love addiction”…with legitimate ways to treat it…Its not” Love” described as  caring, selfless behavior , acceptance and forming healthy relationships which  benefits both. It’s more of codependency, with large dosage of negativities… such as compulsive focus on another person, manipulating of relationship in order to gain control … which grows out of fear of abandonment, rejection and pain. The therapies seem to be promising…from what I understand …allowing the person to be more self aware of their true nature of behavior…Still, as someone pointed out, we are drawn to the chemicals that love, sex and romance produces…Growth in consciousness to distinguish between sacred ways of connecting (healthy relationships) and attempts of selfish fulfillment would be not only useful, but necessary.

Just out of curiosity I have searched the web, looking for some personal experiences with “yoga addiction”…Do you think I have found some examples of it..? Of course I did… Not because its common…but because it’s the nature of us, human beings…I believe we may become “addicted to anything”…as in definition of  One thing, person or activity growing out of the proportion and taking over our entire life…We need to ask “Why?” “What kind of need, emptiness … we are trying to fill.. or cover up ?” It’s good to be able to distinguish our motives, though sometime they are so deeply rooted that it’s  almost impossible…One rule follows…keep  balance in your life …it’s an enemy of addiction…antithesis of its core…

As far as Yoga is concerned, I will truly embrace gratefulness for “that attraction” and let it woo me with good feeling, flexibility, strength, self awareness, sense of balance and more …feeling “lucky” to find it again…  Almost forgot about my “boy story”…Well… At the end, I figured it out….  It was an addiction…gave it up…  ( don’t like “fake things”)  ….still wondering about its power…and feelings …so real for so wrong reasons…life...interesting lesson…

 

 

 

 

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The Little Prince

"People where you live," the little prince said, "grow five thousand roses in one garden... yet they don't find what they're looking for..."

"They don't find it," I answered.

"And yet what they're looking for could be found in a single rose, or a little water..."

"Of course," I answered.

And the little prince added, "But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."

 

 

 

 

 

 

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